Backwards Glances
by rosemusic20
Summary: Something happens to Georg and the family is forced to embark on the journey to Switzerland without him. Maria struggles to support the children while dealing with her own emotions due to Georg's disappearance. (Originally entitled 'Lost')
1. Chapter 1

_**This is my very first Sound of Music fanfiction. In this story... Well, you'll see.**_

Maria listened to the sound of her feet meeting the rocks and dirt as she walked. Marta's fingers were wrapped tightly around her hand and she kept one hand on the girls back to keep her from falling. She glanced upward toward the front of the line, counting the children for the millionth time to ensure that they were all there. She smiled with pride as she watched Fredrick hoist Gretl onto his back. He was really stepping up to the plate. They all were.

It was silent, aside from the chirping of birds. Maria glanced at clouds in the distance, grey and luminous, threatening. She tried not to allow her mind to wonder back into that old cathedral, where she reckoned her husband may be lying dead. She had no evidence of this assumption, but the throbbing pain in the pit of her stomach told her that something awful had happened.

"_Maria, the children."_

She shook her head, willing the memory to go away. She had more important things to think about then her broken heart, seven more important things that really needed her support in this particular moment. She didn't even know for sure where she was going. They were now climbing down. Fredrick and Liesl had rotated positions, Brigitta was now falling slightly behind.

"_Maria, if this doesn't work-"_

_She shook her head, not willing to accept the idea. She fingers shook nervously as she packed her suitcase. She felt his hands wrap around her waist, and blushed. His touch still gave her butterflies._

"_If something were to happen to me-"_

"_It won't." She stated firmly, turning to face him. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear._

"_Yes Maria, I know."_

_Her eyes fluttered shut as his kissed her, his hands running down her back sending shivers up her spine._

"_But I want you to make sure the children get out of Austria." He whispered onto her lips. "If something happens to me, carry out the plans as if I am there."_

_This time she closed the gap between them. They melted together, in a moment that could only be described as pure perfection._

"Mother."

Maria wasn't sure who had called her name. She glanced around searching for the owner of the voice. Seven faces blurred together as tears glazed over her eyes. "What?" She muttered into the glob of children.

"Mother, you're going to smash me if you keep leaning on me like that."

Maria suddenly became aware of the fact that she was placing all of her weight on Marta, nearly pushing the girl straight into the floor. "Oh dear, I am so sorry." She lengthened her spine, gazing again at the dark clouds ahead.

"You don't have to help me." Marta said softly. "I'm alright."

Maria lifted her hands off Marta's shoulders, her balance faltering. She counted the children again. There were still seven of them, eight if she included herself. Only eight.

"_Maria, do you know how to drive?" Georg whispered to her as the family stood huddled in a corner of the Abbey._

"_A little." Maria replied, clutching his hand tightly._

"_Good." He brushed her hand aside._

_As her hand fell limply, she turned towards him, trying unsuccessfully to make eye contact. "Georg…" She trailed off when she noticed his body stiffen._

_Reverend mother dashed over to them, unlocking the door to the cemetery. "This way, quickly."_

They were climbing down the slope now. The children began singing softly.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music, with songs they have sung for a thousand years."

The notes rang in Maria's ears. She remembered that these mountains were her home, a place where she could never be lost or uncertain. It had been that way before she had met the Von Trapps and it could be that way now. No matter how much her life changed certain things would always remain the same. The mountains would always be there for her. They wouldn't make rash decisions and disappear from her life.

Maria let out an angry sigh and joined the children in singing. They sang through every song she had taught them. Their voices carried them down the mountain, and half way up the next one.

Marias throat felt dry by the end. "That was a lovely way to raise our spirits." She said, her voice slightly raspy.

"We forgot one." Gretl cried excitedly from the front. She was no longer being carried but skipping alongside Marta who had run to the front of the cluster.

"What one?" Maria asked, honestly confused. She had almost forgotten the circumstances of the situation. It was as if the eight of them were merely going on another adventure.

"Edelweiss." Kurt chirped.

The color drained from Maria's face.

"Why don't you start it mother?"

They were beginning to melt together again. She felt dizzy, nauseous almost. "I don't know the words."

She wasn't she who it was, but someone started humming the tune to Edelweiss softly, and pretty soon everyone joined in. She stared at her own feet, watching her feet as if she was no longer in control of their movement. Every time she stepped over a rock, she though it was a miracle she hadn't tripped.

"Mother."

Maria glanced up at the sound of Liesl's voice. "Yes, darling?"

Liesl took ahold of Maria's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course." She heard her own voice quiver.

"Please don't lie to me." Liesl begged.

Maria said nothing. Noticing tears peeking out around Liesl's eyelids, she put her arm around her. They walked like that for a bit.

The rest of the children hummed softly as the jumped, skipped and ran ahead, enjoying the sun and fresh air. Maria knew that it was only a matter of time before those distant dark clouds rolled over them, bringing a storm.

Finally Liesl spoke again. "Is father going to be alright?" She asked.

Maria felt a fat raindrop splash onto her arm. "I don't know."

**_This is my favorite musical of all time and I hope I did it justice. Please review, but only if you have good things to say. JUST KIDDING. Dear lord, I promise that was a joke. Criticism is welcome._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks for all the kind words. My self esteem skyrocketed from reading those reviews.(Is that pathetic?)**_

_**This chapter is more focused on Maria and the children. However there are some Georg/Maria moments**_

The water plastered Maria's hair to her forehead. She held both of Gretl's slippery hands tightly, helping her maintain balance.

"Mother." Liesl was walking behind her, pestering her for answers. "Where is he?"

Maria kept her mouth shut.

"Is he…" Liesl's voice trailed off.

The weight of the almost question pounded down on Maria harder than the rain. She lost her balance briefly, her feet sliding on the mud.

"What's wrong?" Gretl asked innocently.

"Nothing." Maria whispered, barely audible of the rain.

Brigitta turned to her, narrowing her eyes. "Something must be wrong." She stated bluntly. "Otherwise, you're crying for no reason."  
"I am not." Maria muttered, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. "It must just be the rain."  
"Your eyes are all puffy." Brigritta observed.

"He's not going to meet us in Switzerland, is he?" Liesl guessed.

Maria snapped. "I don't know what to tell you. I don't know where he is." Her loud voice was smothered by the damp air, but not before all of the children heard its harshness.

There was no use hiding things from the children. Maria knew that. She knew that they were all most likely wondering where their father was. She knew that she had to tell them something, give them some explanation for their father's absence.

She was also painfully aware of the fact that she had no explanations to offer. She had no answers to their questions.

She realized that everyone had stopped walking. There were seven pairs of eyes staring at her, fourteen eyes which bore a striking resemblance to the two eyes whose reassuring look she desperately needed.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, closing her eyes for a moment. _Dear god, please let me help them. Please allow me to find the inner strength I need to guide them through this journey._ She opened her eyes. "Keep walking children." She said firmly.

Everyone continued staring at her.

"Walk." She commanded, her voice cold and forceful.

The slosh of boots on mud resumed, accompanied by an occasional splash. Gretl pushed away and joined the others who had formed a clump slightly in front of Maria, who directed her eyes straight ahead, counting them once again. All of them were there, heads drooping, feet dragging. She heard the occasional whisper, but couldn't make out any specific words.

"_Isn't father coming with us?" Marta asked as the eight of them piled into the car._

"_He should be." Maria whispered._

"_Lieutenant!" She heard someone shout. "They're here!"_

_Her heart skipped a beat. She heard running, then gunfire._

"_Maria, go!" Georg's voice echoed through the church._

_She leaped over into the driver's seat, shoving the key onto the ignition and slamming her foot onto the gas. The car lurched, the wheels screeched on the concrete._

Maria's legs gave out and she fell to the ground, her palms slamming against the moist ground.

"Mother!" Cried someone. She felt a series of hands pull her out of her thoughts. It had stopped raining, but the sky was now pitch black aside from a few measly stars.

"Are you alright?" Kurt asked.

Maria blinked. "Yes."

"Mother, will you stop lying to us?" Marta demanded, her voice soft but strong.

Maria, jolted slightly by Marta's assertiveness, began to feel water seeping through her dress.

_Maria glanced in the rear view mirror. She could see the men in the car which was following so closely behind them it was practically attached. A shiver ran up her spine as she tried to push the worst possible scenarios out of her mind._

"_Father," Gretl said from the back seat. "Why are you leaving?"_

_Georg turned to Maria, their eyes meeting. She could see that pain had transformed his blue eyes into a stormy grey. He didn't want to explain it._

_Maria rotated her body to face the children and Max, who were sitting crushed together in the back of the car._

"_Well darling," Maria began "Your father is a very talented sea captain. And those gentlemen-"_

"_They are _not _gentlemen." Georg interrupted harshly._

"_Very well." She took a deep breath. "Those men want your father utilize his skills and fight in their navy." She placed a hand gently on his shoulder. His body was stiff. "But your father isn't leaving us. We are all going to Switzerland so that we can stay together."_

_Liesle, who understood the seriousness of the situation, asked the very question which the three adults in the car had been avoiding. "Will they try to capture father to make him join them?"_

_Maria glanced at her husband who nodded. "Possibly."_

"_What will happen if they capture you, father?"_

_Maria started to reassure them. "Nothing like that is going to-"_

"_I will meet you in Switzerland." Georg stated firmly. The car came to a halt. He grabbed Maria's hand._

_She gasped lightly as his dark eyes bore into hers._

"_No matter what happens I will never abandon any of you. Ever."_

"_Do you promise?" Gretl asked, tugging gently on her father's sleeve._

"_I promise."_

"I'm sorry Mother," Marta said quickly. "I didn't mean to sound cross."

"It's just that we have a right to know these things." Liesl asserted.

And Brigitta added "He is are father, after all."

"Isn't he going to meet us in Switzerland?" Gretl asked innocently. "He promised."

_**I have a very important question. How long do you people think I should spend on the trip from Austria to Switzerland? I might warp time and have them get there sooner than would be realistically possible. Is that okay?**_

**_Y'all had best keep reviewing otherwise I am automatically going to think this story sucks and discontinue it._**

**_P.S. I always forget to do these disclaimer thingies._**

**_I DO NOT OWN SOUND OF MUSIC. i wish i did. that would be swell, just swell. But let's be honest, if i owned Sound of Music i would not be writing fan fiction._**

_**SPOILER BELLOW.**_

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_**Georg is not dead. I promise.**_

_**That is all.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_This chapter is full of Maria/Georg moments. It takes place mostly in flashbacks, and is a bit of a pick me up in comparison to the last chapter. I wanted to write something a little more light-hearted._**

"_You like that don't you?" Maria laughed as she massaged Georg's shoulders, her fingers tracing his back and neck gracefully._

_He sighed from pleasure and leaned into her._

_He was dangling his legs off of the bed, and she was kneeling behind him. She glanced out the window at the waves splashing against rocks. They were staying in a picturesque ocean villa. She ran her fingers through his hair before slowly slipping her arms around him and playing with the buttons on his shirt._

"_You're feisty this morning." She could hear the smile on his lips._

_The sound of his voice gave her a strong desire to kiss him. She pulled him back and planted her lips on his forehead._

"_Maria." His tone changed abruptly._

"_Yes?"_

"_I want to tell you something important." He stood up and walked over to the window._

_She joined him, and the two of the gazed out over the dark blue water. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him, encasing her in his warmth._

"_What's that?"_

"_I've just purchased a home in Switzerland."_

_She lifted her head off of his shoulder, smiling out of confusion. "Why would you do that?"_

"_I want to have a place to go in case-"_

"_Oh, please don't say it." She pleaded. "This is such an absolutely perfect honey moon and we needn't spoil it."_

_He laughed and gave her a squeeze. "I'm surprised you want to avoid the subject."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because you were the one who reminded me how important honesty and truth is in the first place."_

The eight of them continued walking, their spirits much lower then at the beginning of their journey. Maria now carried Marta and Gretl's bags in addition to her own and her feet felt like they were glued to the ground, making every step difficult. She wanted to comfort them, wanted to assure them that everything would be okay. She couldn't.

Every inch of Maria's body was hurting. She was unsure of whether her pain was the result of a physical soreness or an emotional injury. A thick fog had settled on their path, making vision difficult.

Up ahead of her, Kurt tripped and fell. He winced and grabbed his knee, which was scraped and bleeding.

As she carefully bandaged his wound and helped him to his feet, she briefly forgot what had happened. Kurt leaned on her, limping. She noticed his gloomy expression, his feet dragging in the dirt.

Nobody said anything. There was nothing to say. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts. Maria had done her best to explain the situation to them without squashing their innocence, but it was impossible.

"My stomachs rumbling." Kurt informed her. "Do we have anything to eat?"

She gasped, realizing she hadn't even thought to feed them after all this time. It had been more than a day, but she had lost her appetite so completely that she hadn't thought about food.

"Let's sit down for a minute and eat something." Maria said to everyone. They gathered in a circle and she pulled sandwiches out of her bag and passed them around. All the children had their own water bottles.

_"You better pack more than just a light snack, Maria." Georg told her. They were standing together at the kitchen counter, packing food and water in the children's bags._

"_Why?" Maria asked, turning towards him and attempting to feed him a carrot._

"_It might be a long trip." He said, his jaw tight and uninviting to the game she was trying to play._

"_Very well." She agreed._

_They resumed their cooking, making twenty seven sandwiches._

"_We can put half of them in my bag and half in yours." Maria stood at the sink, filling up bottles with water._

"_No, we had better put them all in yours." Georg came to stand beside her. "In case something happens to me."_

"_You know what I think?" She handed him a bottle of water._

"_What?"_

"_I think you just want me to carry all of the stuff so that you don't have to." She accused him playfully, flicking some water onto him._

_His eyes widened. "Oh really?" He splashed her back._

_Maria jumped back in surprise, then laughed and turned to washing her hands. "Yes." She said simply._

_He wasn't quite finished yet. He opened one of the water bottles and very sneakily dumped it on her head._

_She whipped around, her hair and shoulders drenched. She glared at him angrily. "What on earth was that for?"_

_Georg back away. "Oh goodness. I'm so sorry Maria, I just thought that-"_

_Before he could finish she threw her arms around him, soaking his clothes as well. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her hard. She kissed him back, pushing him up against the counter. Her arms still around him, she felt around for another water bottle. Very skillfully and slyly she opened it and poured it down the back of his suit._

_He yelped, and jumped away from her._

"_Now we're even." She stated proudly._

_He just stared at her, shaking his head and grinning._

"_What?"_

"_I love you." He said, kissing her again._

**_The drama will return in the next chapter. Da da daaaaaa. (That was supposed to represent dramatic music)_**

**_What ever you do, don't review this chapter. Psych, I really like reviews and they help me keep the story going so, REVIEW, RESPOND, RECYCLE._**

**_I'ms sorry that made so sense if was supposed to be a reference to the song Reduce Reuse Recycle._**

**_I should just stop._**

**_Spoiler Below._**

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_**In answer to the question about whether or not I will continue the story after the family is reunited: I am not entirely sure. My concern is that it will get to long. I may write a sequel or something of that nature. But that is a little ways down the road so I will cross that bridge when I get to it.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**So this chapter is sort of dramatic, but not with out good reason. It is much shorter and doesn't have any flashbacks in it. :( But I think it is still good.**_

Maria glanced around at the children, who were all nibbling very slowly on their sandwiches. Kurt, being the exception, had already finished his. Maria couldn't bring herself to eat, she was too nauseous. She knew that the nausea was a result of a combination of nerves and the fact that she had not eaten, but it didn't make much of a difference. She felt as the mere smell of the pickles on her sandwich was contorting her stomach.

"Children, don't drink all of your water at once." She suggested. "We still have quite a walk ahead of us."

"I need to sleep." Louisa complained, lying back on the grass.

"There's no use sleeping now." Kurt told her. "It's just about to get light."

"How do you know that?" She elbowed him.

"I just do."

"You do not." She elbowed him again. "You're stupid."

"You're stupid."

"Louisa, Kurt." Maria interjected. "Please."

Both of them closed their mouths, glancing nervously at her.

"You may sleep until the sun comes out. It shouldn't be for a few hours."

All of them lay back and rested their heads in the grass. Maria attempted sleep as well, but she couldn't bring herself to close her eyes.

She stared at the twinkling stars. She remembered when she was younger and she used to run into the mountains at night. She didn't have a care in the world then, and she would lie on top of her mountain and gaze at the little sparkles in the sky. Not even the glimmering lights could bring her comfort now.

She shifted uncomfortably and noticed a rock jamming into her backside. Sitting up, she looked around at the sleeping children. She counted six heads. Her eyes widened when she realized one was missing. She jumped instinctively to her feet, counting one more time to be absolutely positive.

Her heart racing, she squinted into the darkness around her. She saw what she thought might have been a figure, sitting several yards away from the rest of the group, and walked towards it. To her relief, Brigitta was sitting there, her head tilted up toward the sky, her legs curled up to her chest.

"Brigitta, you scared the living daylights out of me." Maria gasped, taking a seat next to Brigitta.

"I'm sorry mother." Brigitta apologized. "It's just, I couldn't sleep."

"Why's that?"

"I was thinking about father." She said glancing at Maria. "And I just couldn't keep my mind from wondering. I started to imagine him all bruised and battered, locked away in a cell for eternity or…"

Maria pulled her into a hug, feeling her trembling against her chest and hearing her soft muffled tears. She rocked Brigitta gently back and forth, looking upwards in an attempt to prevent her own tears from falling.

Brigitta lifted her head, tears streaking down her face. "I don't like to read about violent things." She explained. "In violent stories, innocent people always get hurt. I don't understand why anyone would try to take my father away from me, when I did nothing wrong."

Maria kissed her forehead. "It's alright, darling."

"But it isn't." Brigitta insisted. "Because we might never see him again. I might never get to call him father ever again. He was just starting to come back to his old self and now he's gone and left."

"He didn't leave you." Maria looked her straight in the eyes. "Your father loves you unconditionally. He would never leave us by choice. He would never abandon us if he could help it."

Brigittas eyes shimmered. "You said 'loves'." She whispered. "Don't you mean 'loved'?"

Maria stared blankly at her, not knowing how to respond. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but closed it a moment later.

Brigitta lay her head back on Maria's chest and eventually her body relaxed into a peaceful slumber in Maria's arms.

She lie back in the grass, still hugging Brigitta to her, and resumed studying the stars, which disappeared as light slowly bled into the dark sky.

_**As per usual, suggestions and criticism are welcome and reviews make my day. Thanks for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Here we are. I have to warn you that at the end of winter break I will have much less time to update. This chapter is the longest ones so far and will hopefully make up for the future in which I will probably be updating fairly infrequently.**_

The sound of boots on cobble stone echoed as they walked up to the cottage. It was undoubtedly smaller than their home in Austria but beautiful none-the-less. Maria set down Gretl, who she had been carrying for the past couple hours, and gently squeezed her shoulders to relieve the soreness. She gazed up at the large house and elaborate decorum. It had humongous windows and a beautiful garden that overflowed with unfamiliar brightly colored flowers.

She suddenly felt scared. She fumbled with the key to the front door, feeling the cold metal rub up against her skin. The house cast a dark shadow over them as they walked up the pathway to the front door, blocking out the sun.

Friedrich broke into a run shouting "We're finally here." All the rest of them followed in his footsteps, their feet thundering on the ground until they reached the door.

Kurt stayed behind. He was still limping from his fall. As the rest of the children tried to open the door, shouting in dismay when they discovered it was locked, he and Maria walked in silence. Finally Kurt glanced up at her "Mother." His voice was barely audible.

"Yes, Kurt?"

"Um, do you think that maybe, if we really wish hard, father will be waiting for us inside of this house? He did promise he would meet us here."

Maria patted him gently on the bag, staring at her feet. She felt a small glimmer of hope at the suggestion, but didn't want to raise his hopes up. "I'm sorry, but probably not." She gave him a light squeeze.

He removed himself from her embrace to join his siblings, but turned back to her for a moment. "Probably not isn't the same thing as no." He smiled and ran up to the door.

Maria sighed as she approached the front porch. "Move aside so that I can open the door."  
"How are you going to do that?" Marta asked.

"I have a key." Maria laughed and the others joined her. She unlocked the door and placed her hand on the brass handle. She paused for a minute, imagining that he would be standing on the other side of the door, waiting to hug her and whisper sweet nothings in her ear while the children fought over room arrangements.

"Well, open it." Friedrich demanded, poking her in the back.

She pushed the door open. Everyone rushed in around her, ducking under her arms to get inside, but she just stood in the doorway, her eyes tracing the polished hard wood floors and the carpeted stairway.

"Mother, I can't get past you." Liesl was still standing behind her.

"Oh gosh, sorry." Maria jumped, moving out of the way so that Liesl could come in. "You'd better run upstairs so that you can get a good room." She suggested.

Liesl nodded and raced to follow the others to the second floor.

Maria watched her as she ran, slowly running her fingers through her hair and letting out a sigh of relief. She felt as if she could finally relax.

"_Oh dear, I don't think I can do anymore Georg." Maria panted. He was holding on to her feet while she walked as fast as she could on only her hands. Somehow, she had got it in her head that their family should participate in the games played at a local fair. Now she found herself struggling not to topple over while Georg pushed her along in a wheel barrow race._

"_Come on!" She heard Friedrich shout from somewhere._

"_You're doing great." Georg encouraged her._

_She grunted and exerted her last ounce of strength, and the two of them crashed over the finish line. She attempted to turn around and look at him, but in doing so ended up falling face first in the grass and pulling him down with her._

"_Oh god." She groaned, still lying face down in the grass. "I don't know what made me think that was a good idea."_

_She felt heat as Georg scooted himself so that he was lying next to her. "That was quite impressive my love."_

_She turned her head to the side and smiled at him, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed up against her. It was a week before their wedding, so this was still the closest they could get to each other._

_He leaned towards her, and pecked her gently on the lips. "I truly am in awe of your abilities."_

_She laughed, facing the ground again. "We came in last." She said, her voice muffled by the dirt._

_Suddenly, without warning, she felt the weight disappear temporarily from her body as she was lifted into the air, her feet flailing._

"_What on earth are you doing?" She shrieked as he carried her away from the finish line._

"_I'm giving you a break from walking." He explained. "Now, do you have anywhere you wish to go?"_

"_Well, where are the children?"_

"_Eating, most likely. Or spending all of my money on frivolous, coin-eating carnival games."_

"_Shall we go and find them?"_

_He kissed her again and began to walk them through the crowds of people. She lifted her legs to avoid slamming them into people's heads, and became keenly aware of how tall her companion was. She smiled and settled into his arms, feeling completely safe._

_Suddenly they stopped._

"_A telegram for you, Captain Von Trapp." A young boy informed them curtly._

"_Now?" Georg asked._

"_Yes sir." The boy said nervously. "Urgent telegram form Herr Zeller."_

_To her disappointment, Georg slowly set Maria down, keeping his arm around her, and snatched the telegram from the boy's hand. Maria watched him as he unfolded the piece of paper, examining his face for some kind of reaction. As he read, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes darkened, his arm sliding off of her shoulder._

"_They request an immediate reply." The boy explained._

_Georg looked up at him, his cold stare bearing down. "Well." He replied, his voice icy, but calm and silky, "Why don't you tell them that I will respond to them when I see fit."_

_The boy didn't argue. He merely turned and ran off into the crowd._

"_Georg, was it really necessary to scare the poor…" She trailed off, realizing it was hopeless to argue over such a trivial subject. There would be other arguments once they were married that would be more worthwhile._

_Georg, his face growing paler, read the letter again and then stalked away from her without uttering another word._

Maria shook her head, jolting herself out of yet another day dream. She felt weak at the knees again. She walked into what turned out to be the living room of the house. She slumped onto a couch and threw her head back, studying the ceiling.

"Oh God, I think I may be going mad. I ask that you please protect my sanity so that I may provide for my family." She prayed breathily, her throat dry. "In the name of the father, son and the holy spirit, Amen."

She stretched out on the couch for a moment, kicking off her shoes and feeling the air rush over her bare feet, and closed her eyes. A wave of sadness hit her suddenly, tears collecting behind her closed eyelids. She trembled for a moment, curling up on the couch and crying into her dress. Images of him flashed through her mind. She though first of his happy smiling face, then his dark angry scowl, then a look of fear in his eyes that she had only seen once. She shuttered, then recollected herself and stood up to hunt for the kitchen.

She had no trouble finding it, and once she entered she found that the cabinets were filled with food. She felt a sudden urge to eat sugar cookies, and it was the first pang of hunger she had felt in a while, so she promptly washed her hands and grabbed the ingredients. She pressed her hands into the dough, which was cold and moist. She began molding the dough into small round balls, but for some reason her fingers would not do as she wanted them to and she kept dropping the balls of cookie onto the floor.

She sighed irritably, bending down for the third time to pick up the runaway dough ball.  
"Maria."

"_Do you think that maybe, if we really wish hard, father will be waiting for us?"_

Her eyes widened at the sound of the familiar voice. She stood up and whirled around, her heart pounding.

There was no one there.

"Maria." She heard again.

She twisted ran to the door of the kitchen and peered out, but there was no tall shadowy figure waiting to take her into his arms.

"Maria."

"_No matter what happens I will never abandon you."_

"But you have abandoned me." Maria whispered breathlessly. The room seemed to spin around her. She immediately felt dizzy. She stumbled over to the sink thinking she might vomit, but before she could get there the colors in the room all blended into a dark fog and she fell into blackness.

"_Louisa." Maria threw the door open, and ran to the side of the bed. Louisa was lying there, shivering._

_Maria handed Louisa a glass of water, which she accepted gratefully. "Please." She pleaded between sips. "Don't wake father. I swear I'm fine, I just had a long day, that's all."_

"_Why wouldn't I wake him?" Maria asked, wiping a layer of sweat from Louisa's forehead._

"_You really ought to be packing." Louisa told her managing to smile. "You leave for your honey moon tomorrow."_

"_There isn't a place I would rather be than here with you." Maria insisted._

"_Really?" She heard from behind her. She turned and saw Georg standing in the doorway._

"_Oh, father, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm very sorr-"_

"_It's alright darling." Georg said moving to the bed side as well. "What's wrong?" He asked Maria_

"_She has a mild fever." Maria told him. "I'm trying to help her cool down so that she will be comfortable enough to fall asleep."_

"_I think I'm alright Fraulein- I mean Mother." Louisa giggled under the covers and tilted her head to one side, smiling up at the two of them. "You two can go."_

"_Alright darling, good night." Maria whispered, leaning down to kiss Louisa on the forehead._

"_Oh no, don't." Louisa covered her face with the covers. "I don't want you to get sick._

_Maria pulled the covers away. "I don't care." She asserted. She kissed Louisa's pale cheek then turned back to her husband._

"_Goodnight Louisa." Georg said absentmindedly, grabbing Maria's hand and pulling her out of the room._

"_You're in quite the hurry." Maria observed once they were out of ear shot._

_Georg smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him. "I've been waiting a long time for this." His hand started to travel down her back._

_She instinctively slapped his hand off of her then, realizing what she had done, gasped. "Goodness, I'm so sorry. That was just a gut reaction." She blushed, holding her face in her hands._

"_So this is what rejection feels like." Georg mused, still grinning. "It hurts, especially coming from my own wife."_

"_Oh you!" She pushed him playfully on the shoulder. "I didn't mean it like that." She examined his hand. "Are you alright? Do you want me to get you some ice to stop the swell-?"_

_Georg silenced her by pressing his lips slowly on to hers. They separated briefly, foreheads still touching, and he said "I think it can wait."_

_She bit her bottom lip and gazed into his eyes._

_**I know that was sort of an abrupt ending but I hope you liked it anyway. I have some ideas for where this story is going but am definitely interested in suggestions.**_

_**This next part pertains solely to a reviewer named Lily(Guest) there is a spoiler way, way down though if you are interested.**_

_**To Lily: I'm kind of confused as to whether you want me to write a story for you or post a story for you. Please clarify.**_

_**SPOILER BELLOW.**_

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_**Maria isn't incredibly ill or anything. She isn't going to die of a dramatically fatal illness. Don't worry.**_

_**Also, it may be a while before the family is reunited. But never fear, it will happen.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**I'm sorry it's taken so long. I have been very busy.**_

_"Maria." His hands trailed down her back, exploring the crevices of her body._

_She moaned and leaned into him, breathing in his scent as she pressed kisses onto his neck and cheeks._

_"Maria."_

_She looked at him, gazing into his sparkling eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair and down his neck. "Yes?"_

_"Maria," He paused, pulling her tighter into his embrace, sending a wave of warmth through her entire body. "I love-"_

Her eyes flew open, staring at the dark ceiling which seemed to be closing in on her. She still felt incredibly woozy, but could hear enough to recognize that she was alone. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that there was no one standing over her, no one beckoning her to wake up with concern in their eyes. On one hand, she didn't want to worry anybody, particularly the children. On another, she had foolishly hoped this whole thing had been some sort of nightmare and that she would wake up to find him brushing her hair away from her face.

Maria moved first her toes, wiggling them inside her shoes, then her fingers, feeling the air rush over them. She sat up, slowly, breathlessly, and glanced around the kitchen.

Her eyes fell on the splatter of cookie dough on the ground near her feet. Thrusting herself to her feet, she resumed her cooking as if nothing had happened. She knew that her spouts of dizziness were likely the result of exhaustion and stress from the journey, and resolved to take a nap as soon as she was finished cooking.

Moments after placing the cookies in the oven, she head the thunder of footsteps and voices. Looking up, she saw seven faces staring at her.

"Is something wrong?" Maria asked pointedly. She knew she was being a bit cross, but she couldn't help her bad mood. She would rather be cantankerous that sobbing in front of the children.

"Yes." Friedrich asserted. "There are only three bedrooms upstairs."

Maria frowned pensively. "Alright," She said slowly, waving them out of the kitchen. "Let's go upstairs and have a look."

She followed them up to the second floor, glancing around the short hallway. There was a small closet on one end, and three other doors which clearly led to bedrooms.

She bit her bottom lip, inhaling deeply, contemplating a solution to this problem. She poked her head through each of the three doorways. There was a double bed in each of the bedrooms, and a queen sized in the master bedroom. "Alright," She said spiritedly. "Friedrich, Kurt, you share one room. Brigitta, Marta, Gretl you share the queen. Liesl and Lousia will take the third room. I will sleep on the sofa downstairs"

"We have to share beds?" Brigitta asked.

Maria nodded. She felt a small pang of irritation at the fact that they had grown up never knowing what it meant to share a bed. "I used to share a bed with my cousin all of the time when I lived with my aunt and uncle." She said quietly. "It was miserable, but only because she hated me. You all don't hate each other. You'll be fine."

Gretl tugged gently on Maria's dress. "But what will we do when father gets here?" She wondered, her blue eyes wide.

There was a moment of silence as Maria struggled to swallow the lump that had risen in her throat. She looked around at the children. Liesl's eyes were glossy, Friedrich was staring intently at the floor, Louisa played with the fabric on her dress, and Kurt's fists were clenched tightly into balls.

_"Honestly Maria," He scowled. "I don't see how you can be so forgiving."_

_"I just try to see the good in everyone."_

_"You are an amazing person." He spoke after another stretch of silence._

_"Oh, I'm really not." She insisted. "I'm just-"_

_Tenderly, he pressed his lips up against hers. "Yes, you are." he asserted. "You saw the good in me, even when no one else could."_

_"It was easy," She whispered. "There was a lot to see."_

She opened her mouth, and stuttered, unable to find the right words. Finally she knelt down in front of Gretl and said, softly, "I suppose we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it."

Gretl smiled and nodded, satisfied with the answer.

"There are no linens, for the beds." Liesl explained, displaying her disproval on her face. "Only a bunch of disgusting old blankets."

"I guess we'll just have to make do." Maria said, standing up and giving Liesl a pat on the shoulder. "Now everyone go unpack when you're done I made sugar cookies."

She saw all of their eyes light up at the idea of something warm and sweet to eat. Then they all disappeared into their bedrooms, and she headed down the stairs.

Once she was alone in the kitchen, she took a moment to try to collect herself. It had all been so absolutely perfect. She loved the children, and she loved their father. She realized now that things weren't meant to be perfect not for her. "He was such a good man, lord. He didn't deserve to be punished. He's never done anything wrong." Anger bubbled up inside her chest. "God, I don't understand why you would let this happen?" She heard someone knock at the door. "Please let that be him." She prayed aloud as she rushed to the front door and flung it open.

There was no one. Her eyes fell on a telegram, sitting on the porch step. She bent down and picked it up. She took a deep breath, her heart pounding so hard she could feel it vibrating in her ears.

She carefully broke its seal and opened it.

- Your husband is dead. -

_**I'm sorry. Believe me, that was as hard to write as it was to read.**_

_**Anyway, review if you feel compelled to.**_

_****__**p.s.**_

_****__**Lily: If you still want me to write a story for you, please post your email in the comments.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_I know it's been a while, but here it is. This is a chapter about discovery._**

-Your husband is dead-

The four words seemed to drive daggers straight through Maria's chest. Her breath caught in her throat. A waterfall of powerful emotions coursed through her in a matter of seconds. She looked down the path outside the house and saw tall delivery boy running in the opposite direction.

The paper fluttered out of her hands as she tore out the door after the stranger. The man seemed to notice she was chasing him and started running even faster, taking a sharp turn onto another street.

She followed him, ignoring the stitch in her side, even after he disappeared down the road. Her rush of adrenaline carried her into a crowded town, where people were bustling about. She stumbled into the middle of the fray, her feet throbbing.

She looked around frantically but everyone looked the same, and she could not identify the dark hair of the mail deliverer. The mass of strangers began to swirl around and she felt herself starting to black out again. She shook her head, swaying slightly from side to side, fighting with every muscle in her body to keep from plummeting to the ground.

"Excuse me Miss, are you alright." She heard a voice from behind her.

She swallowed and took another step, stumbling over her weak legs. A wave of nausea hit her, and she struggled to prevent her insides from flying out of her into the street. Finally she turned around to face the voice which had addressed her, shaking her head.

Two hands grabbed her firmly on the shoulders before she toppled forwards, almost crashing head first into the ground beneath her.

"Let's get you inside." The voice, which she now recognized as male, said softly. She felt the change in temperature and smelled something mouthwateringly delicious as she was pulled gently inside an unfamiliar building. She tried to lift her head from being buried in the man's shoulder but everything was so blurry that she got dizzy and was forced to close her eyes again.

"She seems sick. I don't really know what to do."

"Oh dear," She heard a woman's voice. "Call the doctor. Get me some cold water and a washcloth."

"Yes ma'am." She felt the grip on her shoulders start to loosen.

"Don't drop her! Help me get her upstairs first you idiot."

As she was hoisted in the air, what was left of her consciousness disappeared.

The first thing she noticed was a wet washcloth over her forehead and eyes. The second thing she noticed was that her stomach was spinning again. "Oh god. I'm going to vomit." She muttered, leaning over the side of the bed and gagging, because she hadn't eaten anything all day, into a waste basket. She felt a gentle hand rubbing her back, and realized she had no idea where she was. Finally opening her eyes, she saw that the person comforting her was a doctor, and that there was an elderly woman standing in the corner of the room.

"Hello, dear." The woman smiled anxiously. "How are you feeling?"

As the rest of the room came into focus, Maria's nausea subsided. "I'm fine. How long have I been out?"

"About 20 minutes." The doctor supplied.

Maria's eyes bulged. "I have to go." She yelped, throwing the covers off of her, and heading for the door. "I have children, and cookies waiting for me." The washcloth tumbled onto the floor.

"Ma'am, sit down." The doctor demanded. "I'm sure your children will be fine."

Maria reluctantly returned to her spot on the bed. She stared at the doctor expectantly.

"Please, try to relax."

"Well, it's hard to relax when you have seven children who are probably worried sick about you, and a batch of cookies which are likely burning in the oven back home." Maria spat. It felt good to have someone to argue with. She felt a familiar fire burning in her chest that had been absent for the last few days.

"I'm sure that your husband will take care of them while you're away." The doctor tried to soothe her. "And he'll understand your absence once you tell him-"

"My husband is dead, sir." She interrupted him coldly. It was the first time she had said it out loud, and it felt like venom flowing out of her mouth.

After sharing a glance with the woman, who had skillfully blocked the doorway, the doctor took Maria's hand gently. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

Maria shook her hand out of his grasp. "Thank you very much, but I don't need your sympathy." She stared straight ahead, feeling a well of tears collect under her eyes. "I'd prefer if you would just give me some medicine, so that I may return to my family."

The doctor's eyes flew once again to the old woman.

Maria pursed her lips. "I'm sorry doctor, but, is there something seriously wrong with my health?" She watched as the doctor slowly shook his head. "Then I really ought to get going." She stood up and marched towards the door.

"What is your name, ma'am?" Asked the woman blocking the exit.

Maria closed her eyes and sighed in irritation.

_"What will we say if people ask who we are?" She asked him as the loaded the car with luggage._

_"Just make something up I suppose." Georg suggested. "We'll tell people you are my governess."_

_She laughed and he placed his hand on the small of her back. "That will be rather difficult for me." She sighed. "I'm an awful liar."_

_"Really?"_

_Maria nodded sincerely. They wandered back into the house to retrieve the children._

_"Well, I suppose you'll need some practice, won't you?" He grinned boyishly at her._

_"What are you suggesting?" She asked, narrowing her eyes._

_He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to him. With their faces inches apart and their noses touching, he whispered, "Fancy a bit of role play?"_

_Her mouth parted into a small 'o' for a moment before he pressed his lips onto hers. When they separated she whispered excitedly "Well, yes, certainly; but do we have time?"_

_He lifted her ceremoniously into his arms and carried her out of the foyer._

_"Georg!" She shrieked._

_"Call me 'Captain'," He said with feigned seriousness. "Fraulein."_

She swallowed. "Um, my name is Agathe. Agathe Schraeder." Guilt washed over her for the thievery of two honorable women's names. She hoped that the lie was not as easily read by these strangers as it was by her conscience.

Apparently, she had been believable enough. "Agathe, please lie down and rest. I'm sure that your family is fine." The woman gently took her by the shoulders and guided her to the bed. "Would you like to tell me where you live so that I might go fetch your children and bring them to you?"

"No." Maria said quickly, "I mean, I wouldn't want you to go through the trouble when I can easily go to them myself." She was still unsure of who she could and could not trust. Somehow, _they_ had known the location of the cottage, and there was no telling where they were getting their information. Though her paranoia felt slightly unwarranted, Maria couldn't bear to expose the children to anyone no matter how kind and generous they seemed.

The woman eyed her curiously but let the subject go.

Maria waited for someone to say something. When no one did she looked back and forth between the two strangers. "Why am I still here?" She asked.

"We're waiting for some test results." The doctor explained.

Maria's heart started thumping. "But you said there was nothing seriously wrong with me." She said hurriedly. "Did you lie? Do I have a dreadful illness?" She started to hyperventilate. "I can't leave my family. Their father just passed away, and they don't even know yet. They need me. I- They- Please don't let this be happening." She pleaded, half to the doctor, half to god. She felt the tears she had so skillfully hidden roll down her cheeks. She mumbled gibberish under her breath, unable to speak fluently.

"Just tell her doctor." The woman demanded harshly.

"Listen, Agathe," The doctor began, his voice coaxing Maria back into a state of tranquility. "I can tell that you have been going through a tough time."

"Really?" Maria interrupted coarsely.

"Let me finish." The doctor said firmly. "Your condition," He began.

Maria's chest tightened and the sound of the word 'condition'. She opened her mouth to interrupt him again, but he gave her a stern look so she bit her tongue.

He sighed and started again. "Your situation is really very common."

"What is it doctor?" Maria pressed, narrowing her eyes at him. She was starting to get impatient. She had to get out of this bed.

"Agathe, you're pregnant." Blurted the woman moving away from the door and kneeling at the bed side.

"What?" Maria stuttered. Stunned, her whole body went numb. She just gazed blankly at the doctor, who was glancing with concern back at the woman. She felt dizzy again and fell backwards, her head slamming onto the bed. Somewhere in her body, she felt a sense of relief, and an ounce of excitement. However, more powerful than the hope, was an overwhelming dread at the implications of the word, "Pregnant?"

The doctor nodded.

Maria shook her head. "No. It isn't possible." Her voice shook. "I can't-" Her voice was cut off by uncontrollable sobs. "I-" She watched the ceiling blur as her eyes glassed over. Unable to speak, she closed her eyes tightly, letting tears trickle down her cheeks. She tried without luck to steady her breathing.

After a long stretch of silence, she felt the doctor's hands rest once again on her shoulder. She shoved it off, glaring at him.

"No." She pushed herself up to her feet and walked out the door.

Before she knew it, she was striding swiftly up the path in front of the house. When she reached the door she paused with her hand on the gold door knob, her fingers trembling. She had run over the potential conversation she was going to have to have with the children in her head several times. No possible scenario made the future seem any brighter.

She burst through the front door, and heard a chorus of voices.

"Mother."

"You're back."

"Where were you?"

"Is everything okay?"

"I thought you were dead."

"I thought you left forever."

"You scared us."

Maria offered the children a comforting hug. "Did you get the cookies out of the oven?" She pulled out of the hug for a moment to ask.

Liesl nodded proudly.

"Good." Maria smiled. "Why don't we have a snack then?"

"You go unpack, Mother." Brigitta insisted. "We'll find the plates. We left you a drawer in the master bedroom wardrobe."

"_Do you want children?"_

_"I've never thought about it, really. The prospects of becoming a nun kind of put a damper on the whole children thing for me."_

_"And now that you aren't going to be a nun?"_

_"I honestly don't know."_

_"Don't you want a family, Maria?"_

_"I already have a family." She paused to snuggle her head into his chest. "I have the children. I have you."_

She was in the bedroom when she pulled herself out of her thoughts. She turned sideways in front of the mirror, studying her own reflection. She smoothed down the front of her dress as much as possible to see if it was noticeable.

It wasn't.

"Yet." She reminded herself quietly. "It isn't noticeable yet."

Standing there, staring into her own tired eyes, Maria became aware of her stunning lack of faith. Why was everything going so horribly wrong? She didn't deserve this. Even if she did Georg certainly didn't, nor did his family. Why would god ruin the lives of such wonderful people? She didn't understand. "How could you?" She asked aloud, her voice brimming with anger.

Suddenly, she didn't care to receive and answer from Him. There couldn't possibly be a legitimate reason for the events of the last weeks. She briskly grabbed her suitcase and opened it, flinging her belongings into the bottom drawer. At the bottom of her bag, she found an envelope. Scribbled on the front of the envelope was her name _Maria_ in Georg's handwriting.

She flipped it over in her hands a few times before deciding that she couldn't bear to read it. She still didn't want to throw it away either so she began searching for a place to hide it. She entered the hallway and walked over to the closet. She found it to be completely empty, except for a few balls of dust and;

In the corner of the closet was small vase filled with fully bloomed, fresh, white flowers.

It was edelweiss.

_As the two of them exited the stage, he grabbed her hand firmly. It was now time to put their barely thought out plan into action._

_He kissed her during the black out, a brief kiss that was filled with electricity. She thought she could feel a tear running down his cheek as he pressed his lips against hers. When he pulled away his eyes were shining in the dark. "Maria."_

_She put a finger to his lips and hushed him gently._

"_Maria, before now I thought that Austria was my home." He continued, whispering, despite her protests. "It was where Agathe and I raised our family. It was all that I knew."_

_She lifted a finger and tenderly wiped a tear that was trickling down._

"_But, you, you and, and the children. You are my home. Where ever you are, I will be happy. You are my _edelweiss_." He kissed her again, but this time when he pulled away his face was hard and determined. Any trace of emotion had been washed away from his cold expression. _

_Maria opened her mouth to speak, but he stopped her._

_"Now, let's go." He commanded harshly._

_She followed him._

**_There you have it. Take from it what you will. Review if you have ideas or comments. I am at a loss of where to go from here so, help would be nice._**

**_Do you hate the new title? Should I change it back to 'Lost'?_**


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